Dealing with Rejection

Dealing with rejection is something that I've been trying to post about for a while but have not been able to ever finish up to my personal standards. Also, how you deal with rejection is very personal and different for everyone, and it's hard for me to just tell you how you should handle it since it might not affect you the same as it does me. Not to mention, I still struggle with dealing with rejection correctly all the time, so to give you only my advice would seem fraudulent and incomplete.

Christina Ilisije
Photo Credit: Eduardo Patino


I was attempting to retackle this topic when I came across a recent post from a fellow dance blogger, Christina Ilisije, that put the feelings of rejection into words exactly how I had wanted them to be on my own blog. (Pesky writer's block!) Not only does she talk about the politics of not getting a part, and how it makes you feel, she, also, offers possibly the most valuable piece of advice that all dancers should take to heart: Others' views of yourself do not affect your own self-worth.


When we are not chosen for a part or a job, we immediately take it personally. How could we not? Unlike other jobs, our bodies are our instruments. Our actual physical being is what is being rejected, not just our knowledge or experience like in other careers. It's hard for us to not immediately feel worthless and inadequate as a whole person when we are told that our dancing is not wanted. But according to Christina, that's exactly what we need to shut down inside of us in order to continue on and succeed as dancers. She suggests remembering this: "My value as a person and artist is not a wavering subject.  Value can only be granted to myself, from myself, and is never anyone else’s responsibility to deliver to me." 


As hard as it may be to do; knowing that your value is independent and unaffected by the opinions of others is the only way for you to dance to your greatest potential. Otherwise, any small rejection or lack of encouragement will cause your confidence to falter and restrict the freedom and personality in your dancing. 


Okay, I don't want to say too much on the topic since I really want you to read Christina's post. Head over to her blog, living-dance for a great commentary on this and other posts on auditioning, body image, and dealing with performance jitters.